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You
might be A SCHOOL EMPLOYEE
I am married to a teacher and, well this is all too
true!
Jeff Foxworthy .............on School Employees
YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped
with a Ritalin salt lick.
YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says,
'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.
YOU mi ght be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own chi ld bec
ause there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure
or negative feelings as it is uttered.
YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going
to ra in, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.
YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have
its own box on a report card.
YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall
you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'
YOU might be a school employee if when out in public,
you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct
their behavior.
YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and
June.
YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government
permit before being allowed to reproduce.
YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to
reproduce.
YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to
the staff room as the 'lounge.'
YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check
into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL
boxes should they decided to move out of district.
YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in
intravenous form.
YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think
that covering your student s chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made
out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.
YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instant ly answers
this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'
YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent
conference.
YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial
pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!
YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for this?' has
ever come out of your mouth.
YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds
are left in the school year!
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