What She is Due


What She is Due Cor 7:3


Your spouse may be your greatest blessing, and your greatest threat. A person is vulnerable to their beloved when they are vulnerable to no one else; because you have let them into your heart.

Yet we tend to hide our second self often into our forties.

My wife always knew that there was a part of me that I kept hidden/separate

She now knows that second self I am more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life.

 As T*'s what are our responsibilities to our spouse? We made a covenant relationship when we married them. For the most part they did not know about our T* nature.


 COVENANT (Heb. berit, "cutting"). The term applied to various transactions between God and man, and man and his fellowman. In Obadiah (v. 7) it is rendered "allied." In the NT the word diatheke, "disposition' or "will" respecting a person or thing, is used; sometimes it is translated "Testament", at other times "covenant."

Application of the Term. Properly used oral compact between man and man; either between tribes or nations <1 Sam. 11:1; Josh. 9:6,15~, or between individuals <Gen. 21:27~, in which each party bound himself to fulfill certain conditions and was promised certain advantages. In making covenants God was solemnly invoked as a witness <31:53~, whence the expression "a covenant of the Lord" <l Sam. 20:8;  Jer. 34:18-19; Ezek 17:19~, and an oath was sworn <Gen. 2 l:31>. Accordingly, a breach of covenant was regarded as a heinous sin <Ezek 17:12-20>. The marriage contract is called "the covenant of... God" <Prov. 2: 17>. As a witness to the covenant a gift was presented <Gen. 21:30> or a heap of stones set up <31:52>.

It is also improperly used of a covenant between God and man. As man is not in the position of an independent covenanting party, such a covenant is not strictly a mutual compact but a promise on the part of God to arrange His providences for the welfare of those who should render Him obedience.

Special note notice that Man can not have a covenant with God, but he can have one with     man!


 (huz'-band) ('ish; aner): In the Hebrew household the husband and father was the chief personage of an institution which was regarded as more than a social organism, inasmuch as the family in primitive Semitic society had a distinctively religious character and significance

The husband from the first had supreme authority over his wife, or wives, and children. In his own domain his rule was well-nigh absolute. The husband trained his household in the way they should go religiously, as well as instructed them in the traditions of the family, the tribe, and the nation.

 Eph 5:25

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;


 [Husbands, love your wives.] The obligations are not merely one-sided The husband's responsibility is just as binding as that of the wife. This is not a reference to normal marital love, which would not need to be commanded, but to that volitional love which stems from God and resembles his own love. In contrast to normal sexual desire, which by its nature is self-seeking, this love is unselfish. As also Christ loved the church. While human husbands can never attain the degree of love Christ manifested, yet they are exhorted to have the same kind of love, which is demonstrated in the clause that follows, and gave himself for it.

Colossians 3:18-19

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

The wives' submission is to be reciprocated in the husbands' love. As <Eph 5:28> makes explicit, love here denotes not mere affection but an outgoing concern for the wife's whole person.


I Pet 3:7

7     Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (KJV)

 The marriage relationship must be viewed in relationship to scriptural principles (Knowledge).

Here is the giving of honor as a deliberate and conscious act to one who is your equal before God. The giving of honor goes beyond the mere temporal and implies the active encouragement and growth of the whole person that is your partner in life.


The Greek word [time] (honor) is related to precious

Time (tee-may');a value, i.e. money paid, or (concretely and collectively) valuables; by analogy, esteem (especially of the highest degree), or the dignity itself:

KJV-- honor, precious, price, some.

Bill of Rights

1. We have the right to know about our spouse’s T* nature, preferably before marriage, but certainly when it becomes a significant factor in their lives.

2. We have the right to honest and open communication with our spouse, with negotiation and compromise on both sides, particularly in regard to allocation of family resources and in matters pertaining to telling our children. Old patterns of selfishness and deception must cease.

3. We have the right not to be pushed to "accept' things before we have had time to learn enough about them and to begin to get used to them.

5. We have the right to our spouses bodies. Neither partner in a marriage has the right to alter body features without the full knowledge and consent of the other.

I Cor 7:1-5

1  Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.

2  But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

3  The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to

          her husband.

4  The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5    Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (NIV)



Last modified: 12/24/13