Unreality Resources


Unreality Resources

 I got an e-mail from Jerry Leaches web mistress under the message header “Action Required”.

 “3/4/09 I am writing you as the web master of www.realityresources.com. I must insist that although your opinions of Jerry Leach are your own, ALL Jerry Leach materials, pictures, testimonials, articles and so on, which appear on your website are copyrighted by Reality Resources (including links) and must be removed from your website.

Please respond to me as soon as possible and let me know your intentions.

Thank you for your prompt action.

Stacy Thompson

My response to Stacy has been that when I wrote the article I went into the UT law library and researched “fair use” under copyright law That understanding is summarized on the government web site http://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl102.html note the paragraph that deals with this succinctly “The 1961 Report of the Register of Copyrights on the General Revision of the U.S. Copyright Law cites examples of activities that courts have regarded as fair use: “quotation of excerpts in a review or criticism for purposes of illustration or comment. 

The reality resources web site has been sanitized a lot since I last visited, (it used to get me really spun up), with all pictures of Jerry en-fem deleted along with his personal story. Also deleted is most of the rather inflammatory material, thank heavens.  

However, there is still one that reflects his ‘understanding’. Since Stacy has accused me of taking material from the web site (I got it from his book mostly). There were no “pictures, testimonials, articles and so on” on the web page and there was not a link to Reality Resources, (there is now, hers). I decided I might as well deal directly with some of the items on the Gender Variance page currently on the Reality Resources web site. This is definitely criticism so is under “fair use”.

 First lets deal with “gender confusion” I am not the least bit confused and most of the thousands of transgender folks I know are not the least bit confused either. I am transgender  trans, across, gender, identification as male or female. In my case I identify as dual gender both male and female and it is not fixed. When you think about it all people are to some extent not at either extreme of male v. female and this is largely a cultural construct anyway (I do not say entirely, as there are biological components).

OK lets answer some of Jerry’s observations, this is from his current web site.

 I am going to use my self as example.

* A distant or absent father-figure while growing up. No he was very present.
* A very involved mother
, no more than any other mom, they are supposed to be aren’t they?
* Perfectionistic tendencies that obstruct inner peace. Ok I have aspergers so ya there are a number of things I tend to be a bit obsessive about, but perfectionist, no, just ask my wife!
* An inner sense that his masculinity does not match that found in others.
How does any one compare them selves to others, only God knows their heart?
* Private, self-conscious and self-isolated.
Again cultural, you hide that which is not culturally accepted and I am an aspie (aspergers).
* Considered a loner Same answer as above
* A real or perceived verbally abusive father-figure.
Never, dad was one of the gentlest people I knew
* Questions regarding their real sexual orientation.
Nope never for a minute!
* Feelings of gender/sexual in congruency prior to the age of 5 years.
* Cross-dressed regularly before age 5.
Not that I remember.
* More interested in girl's play up to the age of 10.
Yes, it hurt less I was bullied, and I was not very masculine, du, I am transgender.
* Deeply conflicted by shameful self-accusations.
Again cultural.
* Steady discomfort for gender expectations imposed by others.
Another du that is what being transgender is about unfortunately and ya cultural.
* Have attempted to hide transgender feelings by hypermasculine activity. Never did
* Feel inferior to other men as a male.
Never did.
* Regularly experienced humiliation in playing sports.
Yes I was an aspie and uncoordinated, did really well in swimming.
* Sense a more enlightened understanding of women than average or normal men.
Ya I know how a bra strap feels.
* Confused by abiding desires to relate mainly with women before and after surgery.
No confusion, I am transgender.
* Experienced as a youth euphoric and sexual stimulation when cross-dressed.
At that age what isn’t a turn on, and it is a forbidden fruit thing.
* Sexual excitement when cross-dressed dwindled after the age of 25.
And I was married. And yes it is no longer sexual in any way, hard to stay hard when you are dressed for 16 Hrs.
* Family refused to talk about obvious signs of transgender activity.
Heck they had no idea what transgender was.
* Entered the Military in order to "become a man."
Viet Nam era, my draft lottery number was 315 thank heavens.
* Felt that Marriage would eliminate or take significant care of the transgender feelings.
Yep most of us do, just increases the wardrobe if she is close in size.
* Macho type hobbies and behaviors have been used to hide feminine desires.
* Have reasoned that having children would help eliminate feminine desires.
* Have found that religious fervor/evangelicalism to not significantly change feelings.
Darn straight, God does not have a problem with it.
* Seriously considered or acted out suicidal attempts.
* Homophobic: fears that he is really a latent homosexual.
* Married a Christian woman.
Thank heavens, I love her a lot.
* Attempted some form of spiritual exorcism to get rid of perverse demons.
No it is not in any way demonic.
* Have nearly despaired of God really having the ability to change this condition.
Till I found out that he does not have a problem with it and does have a purpose. I have a ministry because of what I am not in spite of it!
* Has experienced a sense of failure at his professional career.
Only when I did fail. I love these generalizations that will apply to most people.
* Came "out of the closet" and began hormones and preparation for SRS after 45.
yes came out as I was discovered, and there are a whole host of reasons so many do.
* Sensed that he was not really wanted, or extremely ill-timed when born.
Lets see, mom was a nurse and dad was an intern and they played doctor once too often. I was adopted by a family that did want me.
* Sister or girls attracted more attention from Father than he did.
Less I think.
* Has previously been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
* Is presently on a psychiatric medication for a nervous disorder.
* Struggles with bouts of depression and anxiety.
Being part of an oppressed minority tends to do that.
* Is not convinced that God truly loves him.
Au contraire, I KNOW he does. 
* Angry at God for allowing transgendered feelings to be a part of life.
Culturally driven Not since I knew he created me transgender.
* Felt separated from one or both parents, Not any more than any other aspie.
* Experienced childhood sexual abuse/experimentation by an older male.
* Suffers from problems related to addictions.
Lost interest in drinking when I turned 21 and one cigarette told me I did not want to do that. So no. This is also cultural, many in the community, try to suppress the transgender with alcohol and or drugs.  

* Has found Christianity ineffective in changing transgender feelings. This is right up there with when did you stop beating your wife. Once I stopped asking for him to alter his plan and got out of his way…
* Difficulty talking to God when alone.
Once I got rid of the needless guilt and shame it was the exact opposite.
* Generalized distrust in men.
Actually I tend to have the opposite problem in that I trust too easily, until proven distrustful. 
* Uncomfortable with and among heterosexual men.
I am an aspie I am uncomfortable with lots of people. Sexuality is not a factor.
* Has great difficulty in finding and keeping a close male friendship.
I have MANY, and most people only have one or two close friends.
* Difficult to stand up for himself or his convictions, even when he is right.
No, and it has cost me, and I have prevailed more often than not.
* Very uncomfortable in direct confrontational settings.
I am an aspie it kind of goes with the territory. So yes but I do it anyway
* Passive
* Avoids conflict at all costs
No, ask my wife.
* Masturbation was an associated problem with cross-dressing in teen age years.
Define problem, there are two kinds of males those that masturbate and those that lie and say they don’t.
* Seeks leadership positions to gain people's respect.
Not if I can avoid it.
* Generally very poor self-image.
Not particularly
* Harbors a sense of self-hatred as a male.
* Notices a change in self-view and a freedom in relating more openly in social interactions when cross-dressed.
Another du
* An abiding sense of guilt and fear in being exposed and publicly humiliated.
Why would I be humiliated, this implies there is something wrong with being transgender. You can be humiliated only if you allow it.
* Has never experienced lasting freedom from transgender issues.
Yes because that is what I am, why would I want to be?
* Thinks negatively about his gender at least once a day
* Believes that women have a better and happier life.
How sexist, your life is what you are born with and what you make of it.
* Desires to receive the non-sexual love, acceptance, esteem of another male.
How about others, male and female and transgender,  it is on the hierarchy of our basic needs.
* Admits that deep inside himself that his transsexual feelings are not biologically caused. A. I am not, as most of us are, TS. B. the preponderance of scientific evidence indicates that genetic and epigenetic factors are primary.
* Has at least fantasized about having sex with a man while in the female role.
* At whatever age ... would prefer to be a female.
I am satisfied being transgender.

Jerry ignores then Female to Male transgender individuals.

Last modified: 12/24/13