Oh, yes, we have noticed problems with our cat (a Cornish Rex born of very good parents about eleven years ago, so it can't be hereditary or from his early kitten days before he left the litter, I think, but there have been very few brain studies on cats). As a family we have kept this under wraps, least it embarrass us to no end. So, so to speak, we have kept this trait of his "in the closet."
We feel that our Mr. Rex acts like a dog some of the time, he comes when called and does other things that we feel are not cat-like. We have always speculated that he is a dog in a cats body. Now, before we had him fixed, when he was younger, even though he is a small cat he would get into fights with much bigger cats. In retrospect (I was not educated in gender ways then as I, too, was in the closet at that time) we now believe that he may have been overcompensating for his species dysphoria so that we or his cat friends would not consider him suspect.
He is a Cornish Rex, as I mentioned, so he has no outer layer of fur, only an undercoat which gets thick in the winter, or what passes for winter in Phoenix, and thinner, to the point where you can see his pink skin in many places in the summer months. We have decided that if he somehow communicates to us that he wants electrolysis so that he can pass with Chihuahuas then we are drawing the line there and taking him to a shrink as electrolysis for a cat can be terribly expensive.
We keep waiting for advice from Ann Landers but that has not been the subject of any of her insightful replies. We can only hope that the Internet helps us in finding other cats with similar proclivities so that we can know that he is not the only cat with a problem like this as we know it must be horrendously debilitating and embarrassing for him. With Cat Problems In Phoenix, Sincerely, K
Dear With Cat Problems in Phoenix,
Oh, my, yes it does sound like Mr. Rex is suffering a severe bout of species dysphoria. You didn't mention if Mr. Rex has siblings...either GD (genuine dog) or CD (cat dysphoric). If Mr. Rex has a younger GD sibling, he may be responding to additional attention you are paying to the GD. On the other hand, Mr. Rex may have undergone severe trauma when you attempted partial SRS to him and as a result has developed an alter personality. In either event, it is imperative that you allow Mr. Rex the freedom he needs to express this within himself. (A CC (closet cat) will need support and encouragement if he is ever to live a happy, fulfilling, and contented lifestyle. And believe me, cat psychologists are nearly as expensive as cat electrolysis technicians.)
I would recommend you provide Mr. Rex with a healthy outlet for his alter-persona. Since he already has limited hair, one of those cute little "doggie sweaters" might be just the thing. You could take Mr. Rex to one of the local pet emporiums and allow him to peruse the canine department until he selects just the right sweater. (You might have to help in this activity because Mr. Rex has never had the freedom to actually go into the canine department at a pet emporium. And his idea of what color sweater matches his skin color might need some insight from you.)
Once you get Mr. Rex home, I might suggest that you let him wear the sweater while you take a picture of him in. If you post this next to his litter box, he will constantly be reminded of just how canine like he appears. If all else fails, and Mr. Rex is still exhibiting tendencies to want to go out in public and be seen with the rest of the "cds" (cat dysphorics) you might want to consider one of those spring tension walking leashes. At least you will be able to "keep a tight leash" on his excursions out in public. I hope this helps with Mr. Rex's condition. Remember, you must support him and make him feel that he truly does have "dog" somewhere in his persona. Sincerely, Cat Landers
I will confess. My Siamese male cat is gay. My daughter has been telling us for years that we have a gay cat, but I wouldn't believe her. Even though he always preferred the laps of male humans to females, and sleeps at night only with boys, I wanted to think this had more with his liking of the human's personality and not with which sex they are. However, we have a younger female cat, and he constantly chases her away and is quite nasty to her. He has been displaced in the attentions of our eldest male cat with this young pretty thing, and he feels quite jealous. I will confess he is the cat that crossdresses with glitter makeup as well. He will roll in the glitter, then wear it (around the house only)- showing his true colors to all those who come in, while lounging luxuriously in a fur bed by the fire like a true hedonist. Is it possible for a cat who has had partial SRS, is gay, to also be gender dysphoric?
confused in MN
Dear Confused in Minnesota,
Yes indeed, partial SRS, as I replied to Cat Problems in Phoenix, can indeed trigger feelings of male inadequacy. I would not suggest that you deny him of the glitter make-up, although sharing it with his younger sibling might be considered. What you will need to do is accept him regardless of his sexual choices. He is in severe denial and prone to extreme stress and anxiety that he is not "who he was born." There is a fierce battle raging inside his body between the "birth" gender and the "new" gender. Meanwhile he is unsure of your acceptance of his new gender, and will continue to cling to male modeling in an attempt to live up to your expectations. You need to reassure him that regardless of his younger sibling, he was still first in your heart. I would suggest you locate a "boy" oriented catnip toy. Catnip makes any male cat feel like "tom-ming around." I think this is just what the doctor ordered.
Sincerely, Cat Landers
Our pets don't object to me at all. Tropical fish are very accepting. <giggle> Virtual
Are you sure your tropical fish haven't just a touch of the "closet crappie disorder"? Do you find them "lurking" behind large rocks and ferns? It is a tell tale sign that deep within the "lurker's" mind they are harboring deep fears and anxieties. Lurkers, like those here on the web, tend to associate with what is going on in the outside world, but find themselves paralyzed to do more than hide in the closet. I suggest that your fish may not be as psychologically healthy as you believe. Watch for signs of aggressive behavior as a manifest of what they are hiding.
For the most part, our cats do not have terribly unusual personalities. However, our cat Teeka shares the same opinion as may wife: that when I transform myself, I become a different person. I call this "dimorphic disconnect." Teeka does not like me as Dennis at all. While Teeka is not exactly crazy about me as Romana, she does show some affection, such as rubbing against my ankles. She likes the feel of nylon too.
Dear R A,
Ah, yes. A classic case of dimorphic disconnect. But if I read Teeka at all, I would say she is exhibiting signs of latent homosexuality! My goodness, girl, what will the neighbors think if they see Teeka cuddling up with another woman. Why, goodness me, I really think that it is very obvious that she is showing signs of totally disconnecting with the heterosexual world. Have you discussed the possibility of a hormonal imbalance with her?
Until you can resolve this situation, I strongly suggest that Teeka and you remain in the closet and out of view of the neighbors!
Good Luck, Cat Landers
Very Interesting.. My S.O.'s ( Gerri ) cat, an Abyssinian ( Picu), is very much a one person cat ( That would be to Gerri of course)... however over the last 10 years she has warmed-up to me a lot ( in guy mode ).... but when the cat 'Picu' sees Jackie ... freeze and stare !!! The first time was really funny... you could tell she 'read' me perfectly.. no fooling her.. and she froze for some time.... and she still gives Jackie 'funny' looks... she knows the program, and I wonder how much she really understands..?? I think maybe more than some would think ;-) J S
Of course Picu "reads" you! She, unlike you, is a GW. She has that very valuable quality called "Women's Intuition." And it's her woman's intuition that allows her to "cuddle" up to you in DRAB. When you change personas, then the woman's intuition is replaced with homophobia. Now, there are cures for homophobia, but as I told "Cat Problems in Arizona," those cat psychologists are very expensive.
However, you can "de-sensitize" Picu to some of these reactions. It won't be 100% successful, but it will desensitize some of her acute repressed behaviors. Role reversal is most effective when practiced by the affected individual. You might consider getting Picu into some more masculine behaviors. Might I suggest a Frisbee? A cat leaping into the air and retrieving a Frisbee might not only give her a better perspective of your origins, it might also help her overcome some of her more latent dimorphic disorders. Ramona Annette's pet has some real problems with that! Pro-active actions sure can preclude some potential future psychosisís.
Carole, We do not have any pets at the present time, as we travel a great deal, and think it would be to stressful on a pet in the motorhome. However many years ago, we did have a mixed breed pound puppy that use to see me when I was dressed. This was while I was still in the closet. I always suspected that somehow he told Pat that I had been dressing when she was not at home. She always seemed to know, and that is the only way it could have happened!
OF COURSE that "pound puppy" was telling Pat! How much affection would you have for someone who constantly refereed to you by the circumstances of your entrance into their lives? Meanwhile, I am sure Pat addressed this poor misfortunate being by things like "Dear" or "Honey" or "Handsome." All names that would surely endear YOU to Pat. However, that has to be a two way street, and if you refer to her as a "pound wife" I can understand your problem! Maybe the problem was not with the puppy, but with your "terms of endearment."
Love, Cat Landogers
Just a short reply.. Many many years ago in KY I had a girlfriend that had several cats... plus living next to the woods ( as everyone did ;-) there were wild cats that came to eat everyday as well... plus she had a small dog that would sometimes chase the cats but with no intent of harm. She had this one cat (not one of the wild ones), a fairly large Tabby, that all agreed was really a dog... in Every way acted like a dog and in no way as a cat... she would even chase the real dog when it got out-of-line... So once again the way we look when born does not always tell the whole story... J
Hi J, That is too bad that it was many years ago. The tabby has probably passed on to Cat heaven. If he were still around Rex and the Tabby could be the core for a support group. K