The beginnings of the gender variance of transgendered
persons seems to be a hormonal change in the first trimester of
pregnancy that changes
the “hard wiring” of the brain away from that which is in agreement with
the physical appearance. From what I have seen it is a matter of degree, from
the transsexuals who feel they were “born with the wrong body” to the
crossdressers who feel they must express their feminine or masculine side.
From what I have seen the transsexual are generally not
sexually involved in dressing in the chosen gender. The crossdresser usually
starts out with an almost or complete fetishistic attachment to dressing,
though this for some disappears with time, and with maturity and
A transsexual can usually go for long periods of time
without dressing. On the other hand, crossdressers are like clock springs,
becoming uptight and bitchy when the tension gets too much. My built-in clock
spring takes about a week. This tension can be driven from external influences
as well, such as Job, family, etc.
The creation of a pseudoself to protect the true and
inner self seems to be common with both crossdressers and transsexuals.
The drive to bring brain and physical self into
congruence seems to be almost inevitable for a true transsexual. True, some
can stop or pause along the path in deference to family or career, but others
are so driven they will sacrifice everything.
Transsexuals tend to be somewhat egocentric, assuming
that the ultimate goal for us all is transition. I am very comfortable
expressing aspects, the male and the female. And no, I am not copying or
posing as a woman, at that point that IS who I am.
When I broke down the barrier that protected Sandra
from the rest of the world there were changes that were as intense as those
when I accepted Christ as my savior. My personality changed forever. No, it is
not entirely feminine, nor is it male. I am probably more female than male and
always have been. I did not fit in as a male when growing up, an experience we
I think we have much more in common than you know. I
very much understand what my transsexual friends are going through and can
very closely identify with them.
There is one major difference; the true transsexual has
only one aspect, female, while the crossdresser has two, both female and male.
Transgendered folk are for the most part not born into
transgendered families. They suffer oppression individually and alone, without
benefit of advice or emotional support from relatives. We are socialized in
our early life and adulthood as ordinary members of society. Or I should say
that is how they try to socialize us. We do not fit!
We are much more the same than different.