Coming out to Pets
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What is the best way to come out to your pets?

I have been baffled as to when and how should you come out to your pets? I certainly don't want to traumatize my teenie weinies but it has to be confusing to them. I remember the first few times I dressed en femme in front of my dogs. After getting all dolled up, I came downstairs to the kitchen where they were gated in and, as I stumbled over the gait in my brand new heels, I noticed a lot of blank stairs from the peanut gallery.

I'm sure they were thinking," She smells like Dad and she talks like Dad, but something is very wrong!"

Mea is the runt of the pack. She doesn't like men because she came from a puppy mill where I am sure she was abused by a man. Mea will not allow me to hold her. If I even get near her she starts to growl. Well I thought Mea would be the litmus test as to whether or not I legitimately passed as a woman. Now Mea does quite well with women so I thought I'd have a go at it.

As I softly called her name and bent over to pet her, she lunged at me, growling like a Cujo and nearly amputated my freshly painted nails on my right hand. Oh well, so much for logic Well there was always the cats. Now cats are pretty independent, don't require a lot of attention, unless it's on there terms. I thought I'd just go out to the garage where they hang out and practice my Miss America walk - "Head up missy. Shoulders back!. Suck in that stomach.! Smile! Wave your hand but don't move your arm!" My feline test group acted as though I wasn't a part of this planet. And then I got nervous and remembered they do like their scratching post and that they may mistake my bird legs for a scratching post and they would shred my only pair of panty hose, purchased at The Dollar General.

Gee, I don't know. Maybe I'm blowing this all out of proportion, but I keep having this recurring dream about being arrested for psychological mistreatment of my pets. It was a cat-tastrophy and that's the doggone truth.

From Lauren

Kathy's Reply

Good question!

Although we have taught our dog to "sit up", I doubt it is within his ability to sit up and take notice. Especially with dogs, smell is the thing and as long as you don't smell in a threatening way it should be OK with your pet. Fragrances to avoid are Calvin Klein, anything from Wal Mart, Chanel #s 2, 16 and 45, Macy's Dark Chocolate, and all Liz Taylor products.

The only pets that have been known to react to altered gender presentation are gold fish. It makes them swim north and south rather than the typical east to west. Before you dress in front of them, turn their tank 90% from where it currently is situated and this should help them adjust.

Good luck - Kathy

Last modified: 12/24/13